Adventure doesn't always come natural to me. I want to be that person. I want to be the mom (the family) that packs up their kids and takes them on an impromptu adventure to some small mountain or coastal town. I read the blogs, I follow those Moms. I crush on their lives. I want my life to look picture-insta-perfect. Some days, it does .. but most days? It doesn't come close. Most days I struggle to even get the kids to the park for an adventure let alone to some ocean side casita in Mexico.
I remember a moment growing up with my Mom- I must have been in high school because I was old enough to understand she was being vulnerable and honest. I asked to go somewhere or do something (probably a concert or something on a school night) and, as usual, her first response was, "NO." Just no. Nothing else- this was a pattern in our house, I was used to the initial moment of disappointment and frequently started off questions to her with, "I know you're going to say NO but... " That particular time though, at that moment I knew my Mom had heard herself respond in her normal way and didn't like what she had heard. Maybe it was the look on my face as I defeatedly left the room (most likely not quietly because that wasn't my teenage style) or maybe she had been thinking about it for awhile but within moments she was at my bedroom door. She sighed and sort of laughed at herself and said, "I always do that don't I? I'm sorry... lets try that again... Yes."
So I try. I say yes as much as I can and I do my best to not skip out on things because of stress or fear. I try to roll with the punches and approach my days with a sense of spontaneity and adventure- how ever little. I want my children to know the thrill of setting out on a road trip, not knowing what memories are in store. I want them to know that the world is a big place but that they can see it. I want them to feel small and big at the same time and to experience awe often. I want them to watch the sunset in as many places as possible and to know how to pack the car and hit the road. I want them to have a strong sense of home but to also know that home is where the heart is and that it will always be here waiting for them when they return. I want them to embrace new things and take calculated risks. I want them to get caught in the rain a few times. I want them to be hesitant to go, but to go anyways. We can learn to do this together, me and them. We can learn to say yes.
Tahoe City // July 2015